Because It's Not That Important

I think I put too much effort into the name of this blog.

The more I think about it, the more I think it should be called Jack: a blog.

Consider this a trial run for Jack.

I've Got My Hand In The Blood Bank (You've Caught Me Red-Handed)

Sirens. And not the sexy, "strap-me-to-the-mast-lest-I-perish" kind either.
The kind racing against instinct, towards pain and death and fire. The kind rushing to the hurt with wailing and harsh reds, but rushing to the hurt with hope. Hope that maybe this time the fire didn't reach the baby's room. Hope that maybe this time the accident victim won't have a punctured lung and internal bleeding. Hope that everyone still has their limbs. They streak electric red and yellow against the black night, weaving their way to the agony.

The world needs more soul medics.

The medics are the bravest men in the battle. They face the bloody rampage of men's ambitions and sins and don't waste a second slapping some gauze on the wound. The see some of the worst that the world (read "men") can spew out and they clean up the mess. They don't mind the blood and the entrails, so long as the stomach gets sewn up.

Men need someone to tell them they're bleeding.

The worst are the ones in shock. They don't know that their leg is missing. They still think it's there; heck, they can still feel it there. Faithful is the friend who tells of the wound. No, Jimmy, it's not there. You're gonna need this morphine and a whole lot of prayer. You can't heal a wound you don't acknowledge. Medicine is for the sick, the Doctor is for the diseased.

Men need someone to tell them that He bled.

The Physician didn't take His own medicine. He sped towards the pain, with a different red. His ambulance always finds the dead and dying. And with some divine blood transfusion, He takes their place. He becomes the one ravaged by the sickness, He becomes the one Death seizes. But Death underestimated Him. And He killed it. Death-killer, that's Jesus.

I'm not the trumpeter. I can't stand on the hill and lead the gospel charge.
But I am a healed man and an honorary medic under Head Physician. You and I can rush with hope to the scenes of blood and screams of pain. You and I can tell of the Healer.

Visual Reminder

Proverbs 16:18 -
"Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall."

Case in point:

Nights And Sunrises

Brutal.
Too tired for verbs, only adjectives.
Like someone stabbed a sieve in my heart and siphoned all the energy out. Burnt out in body and spirit. Grateful for a leather chair cushioning battered body and bruised mind (should I be grateful for the beating?).

I prayed for this. I asked for this job. and today was a fight. too weary to capitalize...sad.

A fight for joy it was. Every minute a battleground. The combatants being the reign of joy versus a restless faction of ingratitude (i.e. sin). I prayed for this.

Can't say who won at the end of the night, but my body does not feel victorious. I asked for this work.

And so tonight is a streaming list of gratitude and joy flowing from my pen. Burnout is a reminder of one's state before God, should you try alone. Try Jesus.

#10 Proverbs with breakfast
#11 Surprise visits from recent blessings
#12 Bare skin drinking in cool sheets
#13 Butter. And garlic. Nuff said.
#14 Friends in the room, not noticing the time
#15 Chirping bird alarm clock
#16 Gruyere on sesame
#17 Wood-crafted reminders of Africa
#18 A full moon crowning the lighthouse
#19 Gospel haiku
#20 Bare toes gripping soft earth (skin screaming moist and happy)

Meat For Missions

"I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear Him who, after He has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear Him!"
- Luke 12:4-5

The world says to you, "Fear! Tremble for they can kill you!"
Jesus says to you, "Fear not, for they can only kill you."

Thoughts From A Park

The Summer is maturing. The blazing tyranny of his youth is cooling to the warm colors of Fall. Perfect lemonade weather, although watermelon juice dribbling down chins is a good substitute.

He is good always.

The breezes visit more often now. The Sun spends less time showing off and gives more to Selene. My friendship with the swimming pool is deteriorating. It will be replaced by laced shoes and long sleeves very soon.

I can tell by the trees. They all bear yellow tidings of Fall's approach. Everywhere they are crowned with golden wreaths - timber royalty. And if you look closely, there are crimson hints tucked into the branches, foreshadowing scarves and rakes and hand-holding in the park.

These trees will be redheads soon - and bald after that. They make me think of the trees in my Bible. The trees that make up its pages; the Tree that makes up its core. I wonder if some mighty fir knew why its rings were felled. Did it know that its heartwood strength would be drained and transformed into a strength palatable to a mercy-groping soul?

And I wonder if the Tree that was cut to make crossbeams knew what holy blood would be spilt on it. Did it know how many debts would be nailed to it's shorn bark, after passing though the flesh of the God-man? Did anyone know that the sweltering heat of divine wrath would be lessened by the death of a tree and the death of the Son?

I did not know. But I know now. And I glory and worship. Drink your lemonade with me and praise the God of redheads and royalty and redemption.

Basically, It's Just Alot Of Ice Cream

I am very grateful for the continual purifying effect of employment.

Because when a very nice lady asks you for ice cream 'a la mode,' it reminds me that people are stupid.

And of course, I fall under the category of "people" so I, too, am stupid.

Basically, we all suck real bad, but God is good and gracious and forgives me all my inaccurate representations of Him.

So here's to gainful employment (i.e. divine provision), and funny anecdotes (i.e. gospel reminders).

#8 Jobs where smiles and frustrations both work to one's good
#9 Customer one-liners
(Me: It's spicy, is that ok?
Her: Hooney, Ay em latino. You can't handle wot I cook.)

God Is Scary

On the morning of the third day there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud on the mountain and a very loud trumpet blast, so that all the people in the camp trembled...Now Mount Sinai was wrapped in smoke because the LORD had descended on it in fire. The smoke of it went up like the smoke of a kiln, and the whole mountain trembled greatly. And as the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God answered him in thunder.
-Exodus 19:16, 18-20


Thus the earth reeled and rocked;
the foundations also of the mountains trembled
and quaked, because He was angry.
Smoke went up from His nostrils,
and devouring fire from His mouth;
glowing coals flamed forth from Him.
He bowed the heavens and came down;
thick darkness was under His feet.
He rode on a cherub and flew;
He came swiftly on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness His covering, his canopy around Him,
thick clouds dark with water.
Out of the brightness before Him
hailstones and coals of fire broke through His clouds

The Lord also thundered in the heavens,
and the Most High uttered His voice,
hailstones and coals of fire.
And he sent out His arrows and scattered them;
He flashed forth lightnings and routed them.
Then the channels of the sea were seen,
and the foundations of the world were laid bare at your rebuke, O LORD,
at the blast of the breath of your nostrils.
-Psalm 118:7-19


"I gave you cleanness of teeth in all your cities,
and lack of bread in all your places,
yet you did not return to me."
declares the LORD.

"I also withheld the rain from you
when there were yet three months to the harvest;
I would send rain on one city,
and send no rain on another city;
one field would have rain,
and the field on which it did not rain would wither;
so two or three cities would wander to another city
to drink water, and would not be satisfied;
yet you did not return to me."
declares the LORD.

"I struck you with blight and mildew;
your many gardens and your vineyards,
your fig trees and your olive trees the locust devoured;
yet you did not return to me."
declares the LORD.

"I sent among you a pestilence after the manner of Egypt;
I killed your young men with the sword,
and carried away your horses,
and I made the stench of your camp
go up into your nostrils;
yet you did not return to me."
declares the LORD.

"I overthrew some of you,
as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah,
and you were as a brand plucked out of the burning;
yet you did not return to me."
declares the LORD.

"Therefore thus I will do to you, O Israel,
because I will do this to you,
prepare to meet your God, O Israel!"
-Amos 4:6-12


for our God is a consuming fire.
-Hebrews 12:29


Then I saw heaven opened , and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.
Then I saw an angel standing in the sun, and with a loud voice he called to all the birds that fly directly overhead. "Come, gather for the great supper of God, to eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of captains, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all men, both free and slave, both small and great." And I saw the beast and the kings of the earth with their armies gathered to make war against him who was sitting on the horse and against his army. And the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who in its presence had done the signs by which he deceived those who had received the mark of the beast and those who worshiped its image. These two were thrown alive into the lake of fire that burns with sulfur. And the rest were slain by the sword that came from the mouth of him who was sitting on the horse, and all the birds were gorged with their flesh.
-Rev. 19:11-21

It's worth contemplating why God included these descriptions of Himself in His Word. So contemplate - I'm not gonna do it for you.

The Joy List

Not enough mirth. Too many smiles hiding frowning hearts. So make the heart smile. Earth is stuffed all around with heaven. And if heaven is joy tangible, then smiles should be more sincere down here.

So I'm starting a list. I hope to hit 100, not necessarily now, but eventually. 100 delight-gifts from God seen around me. 100 sunbeams that I can run back up to the sun. It's a list of gratitude, and of reminder. Here we go.

#1 Cold watermelon juice
#2 Showboating hummingbirds
#3 The full moon
#4 Wheels rolling to an anticipated person
#5 The night ending (or maybe it's the morning beginning) with the love-tattered Word
#6 The old Bible faithful through tattered pages and full of highlighted memories
#7 Dead men and their living words

Thirsty

I crave life.
I need these pages to pour it into me. My soul is dusty and chapped. It needs living water.


Rushed home from work tonight. Had a hot date with a Good Book.


I need closed closets and open pages.
I need what I pretend I can live without. This water doesn't just quench. It replenishes. It recreates. It transforms. I draw strength from divine ink.
Rush like a torrent over my jagged heart and smooth the rough edges. (Does the river stone cry in pain as it is polished? Does it know the crushing current is beneficial?)

The Injustice Of God OR Why You're Still Breathing

If you haven't read C.S. Lewis' Till We Have Faces, then you should immediately move that activity to the top of your "to-do" list. Right under making a to-do list.
It's got gospel-metaphor quotes that make you think (i.e. typical Jack). Quotes like so:

"Are the gods not just?"
"Oh no, child. What would become of us if they were?"

The question is uttered by a woman with a complaint against the gods. Her name is Orual, and she is Lewis' recreation of a minor character (a jealous sister) in a Greek myth. You can read the myth here. See, her sister, Psyche, was stolen by a god, but more importantly, Psyche's love and loyalty were taken as well. She consented to the kidnapping. And so Psyche's sister stewed in cold hatred of the gods, her jealousy slowly boiling within her until it became a possessive rage that demanded Psyche back, even if she was miserable. She no longer loved Psyche, because she would be happy as long as she could have Psyche, even though that meant sacrificing Psyche's happiness. She had loved too much an object that could not contain it, and so the love became something else.

And Orual gets her chance to scream and rail against the gods. She is brought to court and heard. And amidst the answer she is given, she asks this question, and receives that answer.

Disclaimer (tool of the wise and cowardly): I do believe God is just. Very. And I don't believe that's the point of this quote. I believe the point is the fallenness of man, the unknowable nature of God's plans, and the mercy of the Almighty.

I love this quote. It's tone sings of mercy, it's simple melody pierces the discordant tunes of self-deception that encircle the heart. You see, if the gods were just, then they would swiftly devastate all humanity with wrath and indignation. If God's justice were not tempered by patience and mercy, He would do the same. This quote reminds me that justice for me would mean my imprisonment. Life in Chino. Injustice means I go free. Serious injustice means I get a mansion when I walk out the court cleared as innocent.

See, the problem of evil is not the problem we should be focusing on. How could there not be evil in the world when so many of us are (read "every one of us is") so evil. In fact, there are plenty of answers on the question of a burdened, sin-laden, groaning, hoping world. Few satisfy the emotional turmoil of a heart in crisis. But the problem of pain is less of a problem than the problem of grace.

So when one sends a curse skyward with a clenched fist at the injustice of God, remember what kind of injustice He actually leans toward. He leans towards the kind that lets wicked walk free for a while if that means they will turn from their wickedness. His is the kind of injustice that lets you breathe and eat and laugh and have babies and play football and watch sunsets. His injustice is not injustice at all, but patience and mercy.

Dwarf Oceans And The Magnitude Of God

I hate the beach. And I am the minority. The unoppressed splinter group rebelling against sand and salt in inappropriate places. It seems most white people go to the beach like there's free money there.

But I do not hate the ocean. Standing on a pier battered and worn by years of frothing mad sea foam, gripping salty wood with bare toes, and having my horizon gaze stopped by the ocean distance...I can't help but feel small. I can't believe I'm keeping my balance on this tilting, spinning, circling sphere. I'll watch the sun bathe in the Pacific, dirtying her waters red and gold with his dust. And I remember that a million earths, a million of these spinning tops would fit inside Apollo's chariot. (How many me's would fit inside the earth, I wonder?)

And the vast ocean, the pond that hold blue whales like tadpoles and the million tons of man's wreckage like aquariam decorations, this ocean is so small compared to the sky's furnace star - the sun. And the sun is a small star.
Compare him to the gas giants and the burning nebulae and the sun is a pale, paste-eating runt in a room full of professional rugby players.
My head can't hold the universe. It's like a caterpillar trying to grasp calculus, or a dog color, or a sinner mercy.

When you stand on the pier, sea mist smattering your face (daring you to jump into the dark blue turf below) and you stare out at the horizon wider and further than your vision, you do not think about how magnificent you are. The sun-garnished sky tells you that deep space is brilliant. And (if you listen closely) it tells you that you are not brilliant.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
The moon and the stars which You have set in place,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?

I'm not going to beat the dead horse metaphor that God's love is as deep as the ocean. It is a disservice to compare His love to such a shallow phenomenon. There are black holes that could suck up the ocean and not notice - too busy consuming stars and planets. The point of all this bigness is so that we can see how big God is and so that we can see how ridiculous it is that God would care for us at all. How much love He must have! The universe is God's metaphor for His character. We are so tiny, yet He cares? Boggling.

I should probably go to the beach more often to be reminded of Him. And I'm a bit strapped for cash.

The Dual Nature Of Church Attendance

This is what you need to say every time you hear someone say that they are not going to attend a certain church because they "didn't like the preaching" (or music, or doughnuts, or anything). You need to tell them that going to church is not solely about what the church can do for you. You need to tell that them that their attitude of consumerism towards the church needs to get tossed out the window in favor for an attitude of contribution.
This comment can be accompanied by a slap to the face if need be.

Ok, the slap in the face is not a good idea. Apples of gold in a setting of silver and all that. But the point remains that many church-goers are going to church for precisely one reason: to receive. This reason in and of itself is not bad (in fact, it's downright necessary), but this reason, all by itself, is completely selfish and contrary to Scripture.

There's two parts to church-going. There is the receiving part, and the scrutiny of this part, many people have down to an art. Critiquing the music style, the preacher's sermon and manner, and the friendliness of the church overall are the issues that everyone seems to consider when looking for a church.

But the second part is sadly neglected. Not only is it absolutely necessary that we go to church (and not some version of it sent over the internet or the airwaves), but it is absolutely necessary that we go to church to give to others. Community interaction is an assumption in many biblical passages (i.e. Acts 2) and a command in others (Hebrews 10:24-25).

And the point of this interaction is that believers can help one another in their walks. You don't go to church only so the preacher can fill you with whatever moral you should live that week, you also go to church so that you can give back to it what God has given you. Your service to the church is the best way to display God to others. Nothing should hinder that, not your studies, not your social life, not your girlfriend or boyfriend, nothing.

So tell your friends they need to go to a church that they can give to.

Titles Are Important

I think it's funny that the mechanistic worldview has a self-defeating name.

Machines, by definition, have a design, and behind that, a designer.
So if nature, the universe, and everything, is nothing but a machine, well then it must have a Designer.

Duh.