My Autobiography From Psalm 36

The first stanza of Psalm 36 is a brazen slap-in-the-face against the wicked. It dissects the mind and heart of a wicked man with surgical precision. It shows sin as the intimate friend of the transgressor, speaking counsel straight to the deep, unknown parts of his heart. The wicked does not fear God, he doesn't fear consequences, he sins without abandon. It is unflinching in its portrayal of the deceiver's arrogance. He thinks he can escape capture and consequence forever. He can't speak without black tar spilling out, he can't sleep without planning his evil. The psalmist knows the in's and out's of the sinner's labyrinthine mind, the rationalizing twists and turns that contort a good creation into a heinous abomination. It seems so personal and so well acquainted as it surveys much of the wicked heart in a glance.

And that's why I see it as the testimony of a saved sinner, the memoirs of a defected rebel. The cry of David as he reacts to his own sin. We know the proper object of hostility is ungodliness - especially our own. And so David utters an imprecation against his worst (and most natural) thoughts. He decries his own sinfulness.

And then, the psalmists cry of God's heaven-stretching mercy and righteousness as solid and immovable as a mountain takes on more force and beauty. David's rejoicing becomes the joy of known forgiveness, the praise of a son to his loving Father. When such monstrous sin is forgiven, the atrocious man becomes the adopted, the Father is made much of in His infinite mercy. It is a miracle.

I don't know why, much less how, a God whose judgments run deeper than the Mariana Trench and whose righteousness soars higher than Mt. Everest could possibly forgive such an offender like me. I can't fathom the mercy and pain it would take to slay His own Son for someone who hates Him as I did. I deserved torture without bounds, but Jesus bore the unspeakable torment of my sin's consequences. Torment matched only by the Father's abounding capacity to judge so severely the One He loved so infinitely.

I am in love with this Jesus.