Write A Post At 3 In The Morning - Check.

I don't know what I want anymore.
I curse and bless with the same mouth. I am a walking contradiction.
I yearn for a holy place the way...I dunno, the way I yearn for a really great $30 dinner. I always love when I make that decision and I never regret it afterward, but I'm so rarely willing to pay the price.

And there is a price attached to this holy place, this costly pearl, this buried treasure.
It is my life.

So what else is there to say?
God, help me.